When it comes to teaching kids how to brush their teeth, many parents look for a single “right way” to do it.
But according to pediatric dentist Dr. Rebecca Pikos, there isn’t one.
“I’ve worked with thousands of toddlers, kids with sensory sensitivities, and children with special healthcare needs — and not one thing fits every child.”
And that’s exactly the point.
There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach
Dr. Rebecca Pikos is a board-certified pediatric dentist with specialized training in neurodevelopmental disabilities and special healthcare needs. Her work focuses on helping children build positive, supportive relationships with oral care from an early age.
One of the most important things she wants parents to understand is this:
You have permission to be creative.
“Try different toothpaste, different textures, different techniques, songs, whatever you have to do to get the job done of oral hygiene.”
Every child is different. What works for one may not work for another and that’s okay.
Flexibility Is Everything
In her practice, Dr. Pikos approaches every child with a flexible mindset.
“In my mind, I’ve got a plan from A through Z, and we might go all the way to Z that day.”
Kids have good days. They have hard days. And their willingness to brush can change daily.
Instead of forcing a routine to look a certain way, she encourages parents to meet their child where they are.
“Give it your best and try different things to see what sticks.”
The Power Struggle Parents Don’t Expect
One of the biggest challenges Dr. Pikos sees isn’t brushing itself, it’s the way it’s introduced.
“Parents sometimes think brushing has to be very strict, and that often turns into a power struggle.”
By the end of the day, many children have already been given anywhere from 3 - 500 commands. So when brushing becomes just another command, resistance is almost inevitable.
Why Giving Kids Choices Changes Everything
Instead of telling children what to do, Dr. Pikos suggests giving them a sense of control.
Simple shifts can make a big difference:
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Let them choose their toothbrush
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Let them pick their toothpaste flavor
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Ask if they want to go first or have help first
“If you build in a little play and let them have control, it can completely change how that routine goes.”
When children feel involved, they’re more likely to engage and less likely to resist.
Brushing Is a Learned Habit (Not an Instinct)
Another important reminder for parents:
Kids are not born knowing how to brush their teeth.
“Oral hygiene is not instinctive, it’s a learned habit.”
Expecting a child to stand at the sink and brush perfectly for two minutes isn’t realistic, especially in the early years.
Instead, habits are built through:
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Modeling (brushing together)
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Play-based learning (Smile Paint is great for this!)
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Repetition and consistency
Consistency + Enjoyment = Long-Term Success
According to Dr. Pikos, two things matter most when building lasting habits:
Predictability and enjoyment.
When brushing becomes part of a routine that feels:
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familiar
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supportive
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even a little fun
…it’s much more likely to stick.
“When those things come together, brushing can become a habit that lasts.”
A Better Way Forward
If brushing has felt like a struggle in your home, you’re not alone and you’re not doing anything wrong.
There isn’t one perfect method.
There isn’t one perfect routine.
But with flexibility, creativity, and a little bit of play, it can become easier.
Dr. Rebecca Pikos, DMD
Dr. Rebecca is a board-certified pediatric dentist with a DMD from the Medical University of South Carolina and specialized training in pediatric dentistry from the University of Alabama Birmingham. A Summa Cum Laude graduate and dual honor society inductee, she also completed advanced training in neurodevelopmental disabilities, including autism spectrum disorder, through the LEND program. Dr. Rebecca is a proud member of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry and the American Dental Association. When she's not caring for her little patients, she's busy with her three children, all three and under!
